Of Seafood and Vomit
by NerdfighteriaIsland
Summary: Kurt introduces his family to Blaine, his new boyfriend, for the first time. Of course, as fate would have it, Carole serves Seafood. Terror ensues.


**A/N: A wild one-shot appears!**

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"Seafood!" Carole sang, placing the plate onto the middle of the well set table. Burt let out a hearty laugh and rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"This better not be fried and greasy." Kurt mumbled, eyeing his dad wearily. Blaine squeezed his hand from under the table, and let out an audible gulp. Kurt turned to stare at the boy, who had automatically tensed and paled when Carole entered the room with a large plate of squid.

"Hey," Kurt said soothingly, "you okay?"

"Fine." Blaine replied, voice cracking in a way that clearly said, 'No, I'm terrible, save me.'

"Blaine honestly." Kurt whispered, leaning closer to him so that the others couldn't hear. He looked petrified. "What's wrong?"

"I-I uhm. The thing is-" Blaine stammered back, licking his lips nervously.

"What're you two whispering about over there?" Burt interrupted, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Kurt cleared his throat, and pulled back from his boyfriend carefully. There was definitely something off. It would have to wait for later, though, because this was Blaine's first time at the Hummel's home, and the most important thing now was to make sure they loved him. So far, this didn't seem like a large concern. Carole had chatted with him about gardening, and Finn had met him before with positive results. So far so good.

"Nothing dad." Kurt smiled, catching his fathers eye. The disbelieving expression on his face made Kurt cringe change the subject immediately. "So, uh, did you know Blaine likes football?"

"Oh really? What team d'you root for?" Burt asked, suddenly interested. He had to admit, this kid was looking like a model guy. He was polite, got along with Carole, made Kurt happy, and _football; _An extreme bonus.

"Uhm. Buckeyes." Blaine said shortly, looking dazed. He was fidgeting.

"Huh." Burt watched him with a blank expression. The hobbit had seemed polite and collected enough a few minutes ago.

"Ever been to a game?" He asked again, awkwardly trying to keep the conversation going. Blaine shook his head, offered no other reply, and continued to look down. A tense silence ensued, and everybody made a show of making noise, piling food onto their plates.

"Blaine, what's wrong with you?" Kurt snapped at him quietly as his family was distracted, noticing that the boy took nothing.

"I've never had seafood." He replied shakily, just barely audible. Kurt stared at him for a second, before bursting into a loud fit of laughter.

"It's not funny!" Blaine insisted, blushing. Kurt just howled, burying his face into Blaine's shoulder, shaking now. He was well aware that his entire family was watching them curiously, but it didn't matter. _Blaine was afraid of seafood._

"Everything okay, kids?" Carole smiled from across the table.

"Fine. It's fine." Kurt snickered, pulling away from Blaine to grab a California roll.

"...Oh shut up!" Blaine laughed teasingly, shoving his shoulder softly. Kurt just continued giggling, turning beet red. The rest of the Hummels simply cracked small smiles at the cute scene, and began to eat.

"Blaine honey, you haven't taken anything." Carole said kindly, pointing to the lobster. "Help yourself."

"Oh, uhm." Blaine swallowed. "Sure, thanks."

"Here you go." Kurt smirked, emptying half of the contents off of his plate, and onto Blaine's. "Your favourite."

"_Thanks Kurt._" Blaine said, giving him an amused, but tortured look. Of course, he was going to be polite and try the stuff, no matter how freakish it looked.

The next five minutes passed in relatively comfortable silence. Only Kurt noticed that Blaine hadn't yet taken a bite of his food, but only poked it around with his fork. He leaned over, a sheen of sweat breaking out over his face.

"Kurt I can't do this." He whispered. "_Eat it for me."_

"Just try it, you're being ridiculous." Kurt snickered. "You might like it."

Blaine let out a whimper, so Kurt held his hand again, this time out on the table. Burt glared at it momentarily, before pushing his overprotectiveness aside. It could wait for later.

"Why don't you, uh, try some shrimp. It's real good." Finn said in a monotone voice. Kurt had rehearsed with him several lines to keep dinner from becoming too awkward.

"Alright." Blaine bit his lip, and gingery picked up the wet, pink _thing_ from the large platter on the table. It hung limply from between his fingers.

"C'mon." Kurt mouthed to him, nudging his shoulder. Blaine let out a deep grimace and popped the monstrosity into his mouth. There was an awkward silence, and they all stared at him as he slowly began to make tiny, chewing movements before-

"Ugh, dude that is gross!" Finn said, torn between laughter and disgust. Blaine had spit out the lump of pinky goo with a loud gasp, and high pitched shriek.

"_I'msorryIdon'tlikeshrimpokay?"_ He spat out, snatching Kurt's glass of water and chugging it to wash away the taste. Burt raised his eyebrows and frowned at Kurt, who was too busy giggling like a madman to notice.

"S'Alright Blaine. You don't have to eat the shrimp if you don't like it." He said cautiously. There was something off about this kid.

"Thanks Mr. Hummel." Blaine croaked. "I'm so sorry, I just-uh. Feeling not my best-"

"Do you want some tea, sweetie?" Carole asked, furrowing her eyebrows with worry. This was her remedy for everything. Blaine politely declined, and boldly stabbed at a piece of lobster on his plate.

"Don't worry, it's good." Kurt whispered to him. With this reassurance, Blaine stuffed it into his mouth, and began to choke.

"Oh my god." Kurt sighed warily, slapping him on his back repeatedly until the lobster made it's reappearance back onto his plate. Thankfully nobody else had noticed this, for Finn was being reprimanded for trying to steal Burt's piece of shellfish.

"Get your own!" Burt grumbled, smirking. It was fun to fool around with Finn, a hobby that Kurt had never taken up. Carole soon distracted him from his thoughts, and started talking about work. Kurt zoned out of this conversation quickly, and paid attention to his wheezing boyfriend instead.

"You really don't like this stuff, do you?" He asked, smiling at his curly haired boyfriend.

"Kurt, I swear it just moved." Blaine replied, eyeing the half eaten lump of lobster distrustingly. "Don't you have anything...normal?"

"Mussels aren't so bad?" Kurt suggested, pointing to one.

"Uhh..." Blaine peered at the shell in confusion. Kurt let out an exasperated breath, and picked it up. His expert hands clawed the shell away, and ripped out the soft tissue from inside, handing it to Blaine.

"Trust me." Kurt smiled. The tenor shut his eyes, and jammed the mussel into his mouth. He bit it thoughtfully, trying to avoid bringing his tongue into the equation to make sure he tasted as little as possible, and miraculously swallowed.

"I don't understand why you eat this." He said shakily, making sure nobody but Kurt could hear him. Thankfully, none of them did.

"It's delicious!" Kurt laughed. "I find this more amusing than I should."

"I know." Blaine grumbled, pretending to be annoyed. "You know-" He cut himself off, licking his chapped lips.

"What now?" Kurt asked, squishing his cheek on his palm. But Blaine didn't answer. There was a sickly green tinge colouring his face.

"Oh, you look sick." Carole gushed, covering her face with her hands. "Why don't I take you home?" Blaine let out a whimper, and wiped his clammy forehead with his sleeve.

"That. Mussel." He choked out. Finn and Burt looked up now, raising their eyebrows.

"Something wrong with it?" Burt asked, setting his fork down. Instead of answering, Blaine jumped up, and sent the chair flying across the kitchen. He slipped on the ceramic floor and raced out of the room at full speed.

There was an awkward silence as they all stared at Kurt.

"Uhh." Finn said, looking dopey. "What just happened?" The four family members exchanged confused expressions, before Kurt finally stood up.

"I'll go see what happened? Look dad, he's not usually like this, he's never had seafood-" He stammered, fidgeting.

Burt let out a relieved chuckle. "Is that why he looks so freaking scared? I would've warmed up some chicken from last night if he had said something." Carole laughed along with him, nodding. There was a faint sound of retching from the bathroom down the hall and they all cringed.

Kurt grabbed a dishtowel from the stove rail, and drenched it in warm water. He left the room with another apologetic glance at his family, and stepped into the hallway. _"So much for a perfect first impression,"_ he thought to himself wistfully.

The door to the bathroom was ajar, and Kurt could see Blaine shaking over the toilet seat, knees wobbling dangerously. There were small chunks of sick dribbling from his chin.

"C'mere you." Kurt hushed, rushing to kneel down behind Blaine, and wrap his arms around his waist. "Just let it out."

"I'm sorry!" Blaine groaned, before releasing into the bowl. The noises he was making weren't attractive, but Kurt put up with them. He rubbed calming circles into Blaine's back with his left hand until he was done puking, murmuring encouragement's into his ear, and kissing his neck from behind.

"Here, towel." He said softly, grabbing it from where he had placed it on the ground next to them. Blaine made to reach for it, but Kurt wiped off his face instead, placing a firm, but gentle kiss onto the back of his curly mane.

"I guess we'll just have pizza next time, okay?" He smirked, the hand still wrapped around Blaine's waist rubbing tenderly at his stomach.

"Yeah." He choked. "Yeah, pizza's good."

"You should've just said that you don't like seafood." Kurt chuckled, trying not to feel guilty about how funny he thought this all was.

"I'll keep that in mind for future reference."

And so the next time the Hummel's had sushi with Blaine over, they simply chuckled with nostalgia as he dialed up the nearest restaurant.

"_Yes, takeout please...Three pieces of chicken, and..."_

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**A/N: I wrote this in...maybe a half hour at two a.m. Don't judge me?**

**So this happened to me. I was at a friends house, and being raised by my excessively polite parents, I shoveled down their seafood even though it terrifies me. I vomited. Except no boyfriend to cuddle me afterwards, just by best friend laughing at me with her camera out. **

**Hope you liked it! Review? Maybe? Or not. **_**But pretty please!**_

**(Oh and about my lack of posting recently, I'm working on a 4 different one-shots and three full length stories right now, so everything's taking a while. Sorry guys!)**

**Hugs and butterfly kisses 3**

**I love you.**


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